It’s not so late yet. George, Mark, and Lizzie are watching Practical Magic in the living room. George is finishing a pair of wrap pants, and I’m sitting in bed with the laptop. Vivianne is curled in my lap, although she seems to be staring at something up on the wall over my right shoulder. She is fascinated by it and seems to be deciding whether or not it’s worth the effort of getting up to chase.

I’ve gotten a lot done today. I’ve written more than enough blog posts. I’ve checked off a whole slew of things from my to do list, and added several for later and for next week. I’ve gotten a working plan for some of the structure that I need in my life, and I’m experimenting with it.

One of the challenges I face here is that whatever I build needs to be extraordinarily flexible. I know myself and the way I live my life. I know what I want. The tools that will allow me to be productive and achieve my goals also have to allow me the freedom to move as I desire and rearrange my schedule regularly. I don’t do well on a regimented schedule, I’ve learned this time and again. The trick is to make the time to do what needs to be done inside the flexibility and flow of my day to day activities.

I’m working with my planner to make all of this happen. My planner is a small moleskin. It has the days of the week on the left page, and a lined sheet for notes on the right page. I am putting appointments and schedules, and specific daily tasks on the appropriate days on the left. I am using the right page as a to-do list for the week. So far I have managed to fill most of it, but still have a few lines. I may need to find a better way to do a to-do list. I don’t want to keep it externally to my little planner, but I will if I have to. The weekly to-do list has small and large tasks, all sorts of things that need to be done. On top of all this, I have slid a note card into the planner that helps me remember to do things that I want to do every day.

For instance, every day I do a morning and evening devotion to Gwydion. It may only take 30 seconds, but I do it every day. I also do spellwork, and a morning and evening ritual of some sort each day. I haven’t quite figured out how that is going to work, but I feel the need for it. Every night before bed I will write the next days list on the note card (until it’s full, then I’ll get a new note card.) That way the next day I already have a list of the things that I need to do that should be routine. Hopefully I’ll eventually stop needing to look at or review the note card.

The system is less focused on scheduling time and more focused on doing things. I suspect this may be similar to GTD methodology or some of the other big time management systems in use recently. I want to compare it and do some research on what is working for other people, and how regimented or non-regimented they are.

Lots of cuteness on the train today. The sky is cloudy and the sun is a hazy ball of brightness in the western sky. There is a gorgeous man with a shaved head, rectangle glasses, and big ears standing near the door of the car. He’s wearing a brown corduroy jacket over a white and olive striped oxford, Tan pants and brown leather tooled boots. I think his belt is Kenneth Cole, it’s got that boxy precise look to it. He looks older than he is, I think he’s in his twenties somewhere. His eyes are young. pretty pretty.

There’s a cute guy sitting next to me too, but I’m not sure how best to describe him. Collegiate? In an Oxford manner? Collegiate from when college boys wore dress shirts and slacks to school each day. he has a look of innocence about him.

I’ve been listening to Pretty. Odd. all day, and watched a My Chemical Romance video at work. Needless to say, boys and sex are on my mind a whole lot right now. But since writing about that won’t help anything I’ll avoid the topic a little.

I’m working through personal issues towards the goal of getting things in my life done. I’m a terrible procrastinator, and generally just let things get out of hand. I’m really proud, because for two days now, I’ve had a clean Gmail inbox. I’ve done three quarters of my to-do list for the week, and Wednesday is only half over.

I’ve started a new reading/writing project with that witch i read. I’ve also made a list of things that I’m trying to do every day. Some devotions. Attention to a few details. A bit more precise magical practice on a regular basis. I haven’t decided what I want to focus on magically right now yet. It will be something personal. I think that I need to find a balance between two things that will work together. For example, I know that I need to find a way to get things into my body. I don’t like giving up control, so I carefully guard myself from the energies of the magic I work with. Perhaps a good compliment to that would be focusing on body discipline and body control. Or perhaps on using my magic to help heal the damage I’ve done over the years.

I don’t know, there are a lot of options and I can’t even begin to think of them all right now. Some days are better than others. I started to pick up The Life Audit today, and I couldn’t do it. I skimmed the first several pages and the techniques it recommends. I flat out refuse to do that to myself. It is purely against my principles to measure my life as though it were a clock work mechanism that needs to be made more efficient. Don’t get me wrong, the techniques in the book will work. I’m familiar with a lot of them. They’re great. But they’re counter to my philosophy, to the way I want to live my life. I will not spend every waking moment under the geas of some maniacal system designed to achieve THINGS. my life is not about things, and I will not make it that way.

I need to develop some systemic methods of handling things though. I have some that I know work for me. I’m working on creating others. I suppose the biggest problem is that the system is too big. It is built for perfection, and has no concept of organicism left in it. The methods that I use will be organic. They will be holistic and reflect the philosophy that guides my life, and they will be every bit as effective. Maybe I’ll write a book on them.

On the red line to work. I feel good, although I wanted to get up earlier this morning. Ah well, here I am. it’s all good I suppose. The new Panic at the Disco album is really good, although I’m not sure how well I can compare it to their first. The sound is a bit brighter, a bit more farcical.

There is a cute guy down the car from me, who looks British or Irish. He’s got dark hair and wire frame glasses. The set of his jaw is strong, and his face is a bit longer than I usually see. His eyes are blue. He is contemplative, as though he has a heavy burden on his shoulders. I think he may have a gorgeous accent, with his fine aristocratic nose and thin pink lips. I could easily be wrong, he’s probably American and just looks European.

The people on the El in the morning are always less interesting than the people on the El in the afternoon. The morning ride is full of people on their way to work or school. They are either grumpy (like me) because the sun is out and they’d rather be in bed, or they’ve got that cheery “I’m a morning person” expression. I hate those people. They’ve probably been up two or three hours already. It’s obscene.

I slept well last night, once I finally slept. I didn’t go to bed until nearly midnight and then I wrote for a while. When I tried to go to sleep I ended up tossing and turning for a while, thinking about the drama that happens in life. When I finally slept it was deep and heavy. I woke up a few minutes after seven and had a pleasant orgasmic experience before getting ready for work. I have to admit to being in a better morning mood than I usually am, primarily because there is no better way to start your day than with ejaculation.

Correction, there is only one better way to start your day than ejaculation. A good morning spanking/flogging/strapping is possibly the only better way to start the morning. Coffee has nothing on either orgasm or bdsm. Not that I like coffee, but if I did.