It seems everyone is talking about balance these days. Rebecca of Modite discussed how she’s struggling to find balance in her life last week. Penelope of Brazen Careerist blogged today about how dressing up for work makes her feel more confident, and how that affects her work. And here I am, trying to reconcile a schedule that has become positively insane. Let’s go over my last week or so shall we? Story time…
I’ll forgo the dull discussion of my 40+ hour work week. I’m in the middle of a career change, and so I spend my days at work filing and processing logistical things to help my successors deal with me when I’m gone. So ignoring my 6:00 to 4:30 job (this includes commuting time), I had a total of one evening free last week. Monday I attended the first of eight sessions of the Brotherhood’s Celebrant Training Program. Tuesday, I cleaned and tried to relax. Wednesday and Thursday I had 2-3 hour practice sessions with my fellow students of the Brotherhood’s Mystery School. Friday was the second session of the Celebrant Training Program. Saturday I had a meeting to begin planning for the Brotherhood’s winter retreat, and that evening was ShadowDance (from 3:30 to 11:00). After ShadowDance seven of us wound up at IHOP until 1:45 am. Yaaay for meeting cute new University of Chicago guys at ritual!
Sunday was my day off. I needed it badly, and though I got lots of relaxation time, I didn’t get as much time to myself as I had planned. I woke up at about 11:30 in the morning, and after staring blankly at the computer for about 45 minutes George, Lizzie, and I left to have Lunch with Shivian, Mark, and our new college friend at Lulu’s. Delicious dim sum. George, Lizzie, Mark, and I, returned with Shivian to his place where we relaxed for a couple hours; digesting as Shivian culled some books and embossed a bunch of others. He likes to emboss.
We met Frank back at Ceann Uide (our apartment), and snuggled up in the living room to watch ShortBus. (If you haven’t seen it, rent it. It’s a must see movie for everyone. John Cameron Mitchell is a genius!) The inevitable biting, licking, wrestling, and clothespins followed. Don’t ask unless you really want to know. Then dinner at Leona’s on Sheridan. Then home, more blank staring at the Computer, then sleep.
If all that wasn’t enough, Shivian and I are also working very hard on a super-secret project, bringing in some of the rest of our family as well.
This week is Thanksgiving. I don’t even want to begin to try and imagine the schedule that is going to rise out of this. Shivian’s Birthday is Tomorrow. Celebrant Training tonight. Thanksgiving Thursday. Celebrant Training on Friday. Brotherhood Party on Saturday.
But I’m sitting here, still awake, still alive. I’m surviving. There are moments when I feel like I’m never going to survive the responsibilities that I’ve taken to myself. But I stop and think about it. I’m already surviving them. I’m already doing the work that I need to do. I’m already living a healthy balanced life.
So I’m going to try to focus on the details. I’m going to focus on my to-do list, and not on the big picture, because focusing on the big-picture right now will make me run for the hills.
Update: I bowed out of dinner tonight and tonights class. I absolutely needed some time for myself. I gave my desk and the study a real good twice-over cleaning, and then took a nice long shower to clean myself up. I feel much better. Not quite up to actually dealing with people, but somewhat human.
Here be the mysteries of the universe.
Why do we kill each other? When the moon sets, where does she rest her head? Where do the sock-gnomes take them after pillaging the dryer? Why is the guy from Pushing Daisies so cute? When you touch another person, why do they flinch? When I’m tied to a post, why do I feel free? Why haven’t cats taken over the world yet? Why do big corporations short-change valuable employees? Where can we find the truth of Spirit, and is there Truth? Why are police officers dickheads so often? Does power corrupt, or does it just illuminate the flaws? How does my cellphone keep working? How far removed from a primate is George W. Bush’s DNA? Who made Moleskin popular? Why do people hate atheists more than politicians? What is it about tears that’s so fucking crazy-sexy? If libraries didn’t already exist, could you build one today? Why don’t the RIAA and MPAA get it? Why won’t my pencil stay sharp? Who killed that raccoon in the road? Would it be ethically wrong to kill Ann Coulter? Morally? Are you afraid she carries pepper spray? Why are pagans lazy? Why don’t people believe in magic? What makes Oud so good? How can you make a movie as pretty and fun as Across the Universe? Is there anyone associated with The Covenant that didn’t drop the ball? What makes a great book? How do we tell art from craft? Why on earth does the floor in my study slope to the NorthWest? Why is my bed so lonely at night? What exactly are the ingredients in George Thai? Are there ingredients? Who decided to make candles by dipping string in wax, overandoverandoverandoverandover? Why does that curse potion I made smell so good? How is it that cats can sleep in any position? Does that freak anyone else out? Seriously.
Our close friend Josiah has moved into our spare bedroom for the time being. We love Josiah, and we’re very happy to finally have him here in the city.
Okay. What the Fuck is this about?
Don’t get me wrong, resisting arrest is usually not a wise thing to do. That said I’m not quite sure the student was resisting arrest, and considering that he was already in handcuffs it seems a little excessive to tase the kid.
Here’s what I suspect happened. The officers, having been assigned to keep the order at a political event with a very big-name speaker, were nervous, because they were made aware of how important it is to make sure nothing goes wrong and reflects badly on the school or the community. Well, failure on that count.
I’ve read some mixed opinions on the subject, and sadly there seems to be no conclusive information about all the events leading up to the arrest, or the reaction of Kerry to the arrest.
I found a more complete version of the story here. Kerry is clearly distressed, although as a politician he is probably concerned about his public image as much as anything else. The officers have been placed on administrative leave. The states attorney hasn’t yet decided if they’re going to prosecute him.
I’m going to follow up on the story and I’ll try to update this post with the results.
What does it say about our officers that they responded this way? Shouldn’t there have been an amiable solution to what seems to be a relatively simple solution. Granted Andrew probably shouldn’t have struggled or gone into hysterics, but I don’t think the situation was undeserving of them. The article doesn’t give details about the exchange between Andrew and the officers before they physically accosted him, but did they warn him they would use force to remove him? How long did this conversation take? Did the officers resort to force for the sake of expediency? It seems likely to me.
This brings up something that I’ve noticed often. Now before I say this let me be clear. I have a great respect for men and women who put their lives on the line in service to the public. Police officers deserve our admiration and respect. Still, why is it that so many police officers are dicks? When I say so many, what I’m really saying is ‘any.’ Police officers should theoretically have the weight of the law to back their actions, so why are we always hearing stories about how they strong-armed somebody, or threatened them? Why is it that officers turn their sirens on just long enough to get through a red light and then immediately turn them off? Or more infuriating still, why do they just run the light without any warning, ignoring the safety of the people around them? (I live in Chicago. I see this constantly)
I don’t know, but I have some suspicions. We of course need to acknowledge that the assholes we hear about and run-into are very likely the extreme minority. The one time I was arrested the Officer and I talked about our families and our plans for Thanksgiving. Great guy. Anyway, I suspect that for some officers one of two things (or a combination thereof) causes them to be dicks.
A) They were attracted to the job because they’re bullies who enjoy having the authority to be abusive.
B) They’re genuinely people with a good intent, that get hung up on their authority because nobody ever taught them how not to do so.
So how do we discourage our officers from being this way? My answer, give them respect, and hold them to a higher standard. We have granted these men and women a great authority and responsibility. I understand how heavily that must weigh on them. With that responsibility comes a standard of behavior. When you interact with an officer be polite, honest, and straightforward. Don’t dodge the questions or mouth off. See if the officer returns the courtesy. If he does, sweet! If not, note his badge number. If you feel he’s treating you inappropriately first let him know, politely, that you feel in that manner.
“Officer, I am cooperating fully with you and have been polite and direct. I would appreciate it if you did not (Condescend to) (Verbally Abuse) (Speak harshly) (Touch) (etc) me in that way.”
Note the officers badge number. If he or she doesn’t improve his or her behavior, report the officer at your next opportunity. I would recommend (unless their behavior was clearly illegal or damaging) that you not attempt to report his or her behavior from your holding cell.
All in all, Cops are good people. A few months ago I accidentally ran a red light. I pulled over immediately (Actually pulled over before I even knew there was a cop there, I scared myself). I explained what happened to the officer, sheepishly, and gave him my License, Registration, and Insurance information. I expected a ticket. Instead he teased me about it and told me to get home safe.
So the moral of the story? Don’t fight the cops, file a complaint later. Be upfront and honest, and understand that they’ve got a tough job. If they’re doing something wrong, pay attention to it, let them know, and then let their superiors know.