This is how it goes sometimes. Life swings back and forth between relative extremes and you just try to keep up. Last night I decided I need to spend a little more time in active spiritual practice. Lately my practice has been focused almost entirely on two things. First, self-transformation and development. I’ve been practicing abstinence, discipline, keeping track of how I spend my time, and of course hacking my lifestyle to create lasting habits of weight loss and better diet. Second, teaching. I’ve put a lot of my spiritual and magical eggs in the teachers basket the last few months. The last five weeks in particular, but it’s been revving up for about 3 months. It will, I think, rev down for another month or so, but I can already feel the energy shifting away from teaching. Rather, the energy is being rebalanced so that teaching is not taking such a generous portion of my energy.

I realized that throughout this I’ve not been doing the spirit, seership, or devotional work that I want to spend my energies on. I’m fine with this because I think I’m in a space where emphasizing and transforming my relationship to the physical realm is the right process. But I’m getting a handle on all that now. Not that I don’t have work to do still, but I’ve made a great deal of progress this year. As of this morning I’ve met my first intermediate weight loss goal of 270 pounds. (For those interested that means I’ve lost over 15 pounds out of between 75-85 that I want to lose). For the first time in my life I feel confident in my ability to manage my finances and steer my career in the general direction I want it to take. I’m successfully juggling my responsibilities at work, to my family and friends, as a mentor and trustee to the Brotherhood, and to myself. There are days when I feel wiped out but I only rarely feel overwhelmed by it all, even though I arguably have a greater workload than ever before.

The feeling I have about all this is simple to tell but hard to describe. I’m moving with Spirit. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, and the universe is bending itself around me to lend aid and support. When I’m moving with Spirit I am stronger. As T. Thorne Coyle would say, I am allowed to be big enough, strong enough. Enough to shoulder the load and feel rewarded for having done so.

In all of this though, I think I would be doing even better if my mind were turned more often to the divine. It’s not priority one, nor something I will obsess about, but I look forward to turning my attention from the hyper-aware emphasis upon the physical that I’m experiencing now, to a more multifaceted focus upon the physical and spiritual realms. I look forward to keeping my thoughts upon the light of God and moving not only with spirit, but in spirit.