I’ve been thinking a lot about our culture lately. A bunch of different people have brought the subject up, in thorough essays and general conversations. Not just any culture, but not a limited view of culture either. What is interesting me most right now is how we can change the culture that exists, and develop new culture. It’s no secret that I think the culture of America is unhealthy. I can accept the fractious aspect of our culture, I think we’re too big for it to be any other way. What I have trouble accepting is how much of our culture seems to be devoted to patterns that make us unhappy.

We are a culture of unhappiness. I read recently that Japanese culture generally exalts depression, that their culture recognizes unhappiness as a motivating force and doesn’t consider it a disease so much as one state among many. This is far closer to my own view on the emotional spectrum than to the more typical American understanding that our unpleasant emotions need to be managed or controlled. There seems to be an absurd assumption that a healthy person will always be happy, or at the very least content. I read this about Japanese culture in the context of pharmacutical exports, and how it is only in recent years that our drug companies have been able to start selling anti-depressents in Japan and Asia. Apparently it has been a long effort to convince them that they need these drugs, but they’re finally winning out.

I won’t go into how heinous I find that, although I’m tempted. My own views on psychopharmacology are not very positive, as I’ve mentioned at least a few times before. But what interests me is that we have a very different relationship to depression, to all unpleasant emotional states, than our counterparts all over the world.

That is to say, we have a culture of unhappiness, but we don’t revere or honor that unhappiness. A great deal of our social mores, norms, and patterns are designed to make us unhappy. There are hundreds of things we can do or experience that will make us unhappy. It’s practically impossible to live a life virtuous enough to be happy. Instead, every day, we are surrounded by things to make us upset. We’re fucking depressed by the rain. Seriously. What’s with that? We’re not happy with our health, our bodies, our income, our family, our insurance, our government, our celebrities, or our relationships. We feel we’re entitled to live a complete untroubled life, and when that turns out to be impossible we get depressed about it.

It’s very hard to find a person who is truly happy in our culture. And that’s OK. We aren’t supposed to be happy all the time. We’re supposed to experience all sorts of emotions, because that’s how our psyche is built. Unpleasant emotions help teach us how to thrive, how to be fruitful. From an evolutionary standpoint, rejecting the acceptability of unpleasant emotions and trying to supress them is akin to reinforcing negative traits in our genetic line.

Everything we do is aimed at depression, unahppiness, and dissatisfaction, and yet we’re surprised that we aren’t happy. I’ll be honest and say I don’t have a clue what is going on there. It makes absolutely no sense to me. More importantly, and more frustratingly, most people seem to accept it and think it makes perfect sense.

But we’re in denial about the nature of our culture. We are encouraged to be unhappy, and in fact our social structures enforce (sometimes violently) that unhappiness. But we hate that we are unhappy, and consider it a disease or a failing in the person. Somehow our unhappiness is a sign of defect.

I think this is a fundamental conflict in our culture. In fact, I think it’s the defining trait of our culture. Our culture is defined by the fact that we believe ourselves to be flawed, and that the product of our work is equally flawed. “Nobody’s Perfect” tends to be our catch-all excuse for our failings. We repeat it like a mantra whenever we make a mistake, and accept that we will never be perfect. We ridicule and shun people who are trying to improve themselves, and indeed the desire to better oneself is looked down upon by our culture. We are intransient, and we do our best to prevent each other from changing or growing.

How many times have you heard someone say “This isn’t like you.” or “What have they done to you.” or “You’re not the person I thought you were.” Our expectations of each other are rigid and demanding, and any deviation from those expectations is often met with emotional violence. I could easily blame this on our Puritanical ancestors, but I don’t think that’s fair, or even accurate. The truth is, we make our culture every day. We buy in to the idea that we’re broken and need to be fixed. We support it every time we devalue unhappiness, or pain. Every attempt to manipulate eachother for our own comfort, to bring another person down or rail against their harmless decisions.

It’s not something that’s easy to fix, but I want to fix it. I want to fix it very badly, and I don’t really know how. Except by creating a counter to it. A cultural shift that is based on principles, acceptance, and respect. By living as an example against that culture, a different face, a different voice, striking clearly through the din. But it will take many voices, many strengths, many truths. I choose to be one of them. Maybe you do as well.

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