The full moon is approaching fast. I’ve been off work for 7 days. Today was my first day back. I arrived this morning and found out quickly that the project I thought was going to be finished by coworkers was not, and that one of my colleagues has accepted a position at another company. Job security I think, but also saddening, and it means more work for the rest of us. Overall it was a very productive day and I’m pleased with the way my first day back to work turned out.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the last week working on the splash page / intro for my web presence. Right now Autumn Twilight is pretty much the center of my online world, along with Twitter. That’s okay, but I want a bit more of a professional presence as well. Soon, when you go to theogeer.net, instead of redirectly immediately to theogeer.net/autumntwilight it will land you on a splash page. I’ve been leaning a lot of javascript/ajaxy goodness and am fairly pleased with the result thus far, although there is still some work to do. And I am learning again to despise Internet Explorer for its terrible implementation of standards, and it’s hatred of javascript.

I’ve been thinking about what I need in my life a lot lately, and I had more than one sleepless night during my vacation as I pondered and planned and wondered about the future. There are so many possibilities, and so many things I’d like to see happen. Some of them will require sacrafices and pain, which I’m used to, but I rarely look forward to.

Well that’s nebulous isn’t it? Sorry, it’s all I’m going to share at this point. I feel a deep need to simplify my life a fair amount in the next few months. Part of that is going to be getting rid of a lot of my extra clothing and posessions, things that clutter my space and my thoughts. I’m trying to devote more time to actual projects and less to slacking, although I do enjoy slacking a great deal.

Vivianne has decided that it’s time to cuddle and has climbed up onto my lap/stomach between the laptop and me. She’s purring loudly and contentedly as she looks around and listens to the keys on the laptop going click click click. I think she finds the sound of typing kind of soothing. I know that I do. In a way it’s one of those sounds that settles me. So long as it’s easy gentle typing. Pounding is much less soothing. There’s something rythymic about a fairly quick typist on a good keyboard. Even when there are pauses for thought or correction, it seems part of some larger pattern. I think part of it is that I know that the rythym of the keystrokes is actually a pattern that designates words, symbols of thought and ideas. And those patterns make sense to me. They reassure me about the world and my experience of it, that those ideas can be expressed, that they can be conveyed with some accuracy via a string of characters. It’s an affirmation of the logical, analyitical, portion of my brain.

It’s more than that thought. It’s unification as well. Even though the concepts behind typing and expressing oneself in the written word is comforting on that level, it’s also an expression of self, of the indefinable truth that is spirit, that is creation, that is love. Expressing oneself with words is an art form, one that I adore and profess some talent with. I love metaphor and analogy, and find the power of discernment so present, indeed entirely bound up in, our language and our use of it.

I wonder about the tools that we use on the mental plane. We talk about our elemental tools a lot, and we most often talk about their physical representations, their most base, most vulgar, emenation. For Air we have the knife or sword. It is used to separate things, and in so doing lets us see the differences between one thing and the next. It’s the power of knowledge. In the etheric realm it is the idea of a line or chasm, seperating one energy, one vibration, one emenation, one shape from another. In the astral, it is the idea of creating that separation. In the physical it is the instrument of separation, in the etheric it is the evidence of separation, and in the astral it is the force of that separation. In the mental plane though, that is when it becomes discernment. We move past the act of separating, the evidence therein, the force that creates those boundaries, and into the discernment that allows that force to be weilded. And that discernment is inevitably entangled in symbolisim, in ideas/ideals, and in language. It is our language that allows us to identify that something is made up of smaller components or parts, and in so doing to carry that down through the astral. We discern that there are components and the astral realm allows us to see the line the creates that separation, then the etheric realm we perceive the shapes and purposes of those pieces, and finally in the physical we mechanically or physically identify and separate them.

I’m not sure that made much sense, but I have no desire to reparse it all. Chalk it up to mysterious ramblings. Time to post this now. Next up story time.