Herbis Orbis reminded of a topic that I’ve been meaning to write a bit about lately. She didn’t do it intentionally, we were talking about something only tangentially related. But as is often the case, things that are unrelated to normal people are close cousins in the interrelated web of my nerd-mind.

It’s something that I’ve been thinking about off and on for a while. Something that bugs me. I’ve mentioned it in passing a couple times recently, but it deserves a bit more attention. Specifically, I’ve noticed that many neopagans, possibly even most neopagans, don’t celebrate our holidays.

Have you noticed that? I often hear “How was your Beltainne ritual?” or “We did this really pretty ritual for Mabon.” Our culture, if you can call it that, doesn’t have holidays any more. We don’t have feasts or festivals.

We have a ritual calendar. A liturgical calendar. But our holidays rarely seem to mean anything. I’m as guilty of this as the next person, although I’ve been making a conscious effort to think about and change this as best I can.

What do you think of when you imagine a Beltainne festival from 500 years ago? I envision bonfires, I envision a long night of revelry, sacred joy. I envision waking to the dew on the grass next to a lover or friend, and picking flowers to make garlands, and eating early berries picked in the wild.

This is of course, romanticized. I don’t know if my thoughts are even close to the historic mark. But in my mind, a holiday is something you celebrate.

It seems to me that to many neopagans, our Sabbats are about the ritual that is held on that day. Samhain is about the ritualistic journey to the underworld, the invitation of the ancestors to sup with us. Beltainne is about the Rituals of passion and love, about the fertilization of the earth.

These things are true, but they are backwards. At Samhain we hold a ritual to honor and celebrate our beloved dead and ancestors. We journey to the underworld seeking gnosis and wisdom because by doing so we honor the journey of those before us, and gain their wisdom in the world today. At Beltainne we fuck like bunnies, and perform rites to fertilize the crops, because in doing so we celebrate the vital energy of spring burgeoning around us. We light the bonfires and burn them bright to symbolize the sun casting away the darkness and shadows of the winter, and purify us for the work of the summer.

It feels as though I am not making this difference clear. It is a fine distinction, and I’m not sure that I have the skill to spell it out. As far as I can tell, we are treating our holidays as though they are about the ritual. When in fact, the rituals we hold on our holidays are about the holiday itself.

Your birthday isn’t the day you hold a party. You hold a party on the day you were born. Christmas isn’t the day you get presents from Santa. You get presents to celebrate the day of Christs birth. Mabon isn’t Mabon because we hold a ritual honoring the balance of light and dark. It is Mabon because it is the autumnal equinox. The ritual is in honor of the day.

I’m not sure what it is about us that brings us to this view of our holidays, but I don’t think I like it very much. I suspect a part of it is that so many of us come to neopaganism in search of magic, of ritual, of transformation. Naturally the elements of our religion that we latch on to are the ones that drew us to it in the first place. But I think we do ourselves a disservice by looking to the actions we take as the end goal, or worse, the genesis, the purpose behind the celebration itself.

This is an epidemic in the larger world as well, and something that probably bears more thought. It is very rare that I hear someone talk about a greater purpose for their behavior. Rarely do I hear someone say they’re fasting to improve their understanding of themselves. Or even add that improving their understanding of themselves is an added benefit of fasting. I hear people talk about treating their body as a temple, and respecting the sacred nature of that temple.

I know that in some religions, perhaps even some neopagan religions, the act itself is always the end goal. Zen Buddhists sit. They have no other goal, no purpose in meditation, other than to sit. It is part of their discipline and path. And I think there are plenty of people who believe that treating the body as a temple is an end in itself, and it might be.

But when I see somone who I know walks their walk, and does their best to respect themselves and their body, behave in a manner that is counter to their espoused beliefs without ever questioning themselves, I have to wonder if that person is getting any benefit from all their discipline.

(Edit: As John pointed out in the comments, that paragraph made no sense. This is what I meant to say.) I’ve met more than one person who is extremely disciplined in their life. They eat only the healthiest foods, and treat their body as a vessel of the sacred. Too often I find that for all their discipline and excellence, they never seem to consider the meaning of their actions or life. They are treating their body well because it’s what they’re supposed to do, and they assume that this makes them wise, powerful, spiritual people. But they never bother to consider the meaning or value of their actions beyond the immediate, and I find this very sad.

Surely they’re probably very physically healthy (although one would argue that being part of a very easily disrupted system is not robust or stable health). But is their spiritual discipline helping them gain wisdom? When they militantly repeat something their guru told them without allowing for thought or understanding? Is this person, for all their discipline, more spiritual, more wise than I am?

(Edit: And while I’m at it:)

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. — Bertrand Russell

A lesson to live by. If you are absolutely convinced of something beyond all doubt, begin to question it. You may find that you are completely right, but the act of questioning makes you a better person.

I’m going to stop now. I was starting to type a whole bunch more, but that’s another topic and it’s getting late. Share the gift.