The world is not the place it once was. It is my deepest hope that you are experiencing a youth infinitely easier and more informed than my own. But if you aren’t, there are some things that I wish I had known, that I hope you know.

You are not alone. No matter what you are told, or how deep your fears, you are not alone. There are others who know how you feel, who have suffered as you suffer, and who have come through it.

Never be ashamed of who you are. The world will try to make the very words that define you into an insult. Gay. Faggot. Homo. Pride means owning and loving your self-image. Do not be insulted by the truth, and don’t be baited by lies.

If someone can not accept who you are, they are broken. It has nothing to do with you. Love them as hard as you can, and offer healing, but know that you can not force them.

Many who dwell in dogmas will tell you that queer people have a special gift. I can not confirm or aver the accuracy of this dogma, but I can tell you that our circumstances create opportunities for us that few others have. We suffer at the hands of our culture and religion, and that suffering tempers and hones our compassion. Our compassion, our ability to ease the suffering of others, is our greatest strength, even though it may seem to be a curse. Cultivate compassion with every breath and experience.

Do not be fooled by the fantasy that the nebulous ‘they’ are filled with hate and are out to get you. ‘They,’ are people just like you and I, and ‘they,’ are probably trying their best to do the right thing. Forgive them their errors and meet their ignorance with compassion, sincerity, and the simple truth of yourself. It is within your power to rise above the culture of ignorance and hate. Do not cultivate in yourself that which you decry in those that hurt you.

Find a creative outlet. You do not need to be a master painter, or lauded poet. You need be nothing other than yourself, but if you do not create something with the results of your suffering you will either explode or implode from the pressure. You do not need to show what you’ve created to anyone, but I encourage you to do so, it is often therapeutic.

Never conform. Do not try to be someone you are not, either in conformity to the predominant culture of your home, or in conformity to the pressures of the gay community. Stand for your own beliefs, your own life, and your own desires. You may lose some friends this way, but those who are attracted to your sense of self will be worth far more than any naysayers.

And finally, if you are ever in doubt, remember that you are beautiful, and you are strong, and you are loved.

In love,

theo geer