I’ve been a practicing magician for over a decade now. I have a lot of experience, knowledge, and some very serious training under my belt. In that time I’ve learned a great many things. Many of them are things that I don’t know I know. Such is the way of the world.

These things often seem to crop up when you least expect them. Someone says something, or asks a question, and you respond with the perfect answer as though it were on the tip of your tongue. And there is no doubt that you know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ve had these experiences off and on since I was a child. There are a lot of time when I can’t really explain how I know something, or how I learned it. I just do and I just did.

With time we learn to trust ourselves. We recognize the truth in our own understanding, even if we don’t know from whence it comes. I have lots of theories as to why we have access to this knowledge and skill, but that’s a topic for another day.

One thing I’m remembering lately concerns discipline. Discipline is something I’ve always lacked. I’m a procrastinator to say the least. I’m also a computer programmer, which means I’m inherently lazy like you may not believe. George, John, and I often have small shocks when we recognize just how lazy we can be. There is a sense of pride and accomplishment, and definite respect for eachother when one of us does something blindingly lazy.

I’ve struggled for years to fight against my talents for laziness and procrastination. It’s a losing battle. I can do things consistently for a period of time. But eventually the discipline breaks down. The biggest thing at work here is that I know that the discipline isn’t really adding a great benefit to my life. In fact, it usually takes great effort and gives little reward.

I’m realizing though, that discipline is one of those odd things that comes in many packages. Like strength, discipline does not need to be about structure, or organization, or rigidity. The very core of discipline is the practice of a technique that maintains a defined system. This does lend itself to the simple, carefully engineered approach of a semi-rigid design with clearly defined and carefully tooled give at each control. But the obvious approach does not need to be the only correct approach.

The fundamental challenge with traditional discipline is that it breaks down when the environment around it changes. Some people are great at dealing with change and adapt quickly. Lots of others have more trouble. Think for a minute what would happen to one of our automobiles if we tried to run it in an environment with twice the gravity of Earth? Or half? The very carefully structured system would probably degrade and cease to function very quickly, if it worked at all.

What if discipline could be more fluid than we normally understand it to be? I live in a magical world. I believe that everything is possible, and that the rules we obey today may be very different tomorrow. Traditional behavioral discipline can not flourish in a mental model that cherishes fundamental changes as much as mine does. And so I’m questioning the value of traditional discipline.

The discipline of the body is a concept that is floating around in my head. It’s not about behavior, or specific roles or patterns. Trying to make my life too structured always results in depression and feelings of failure. Instead, it’s about creating a physical vessel that can function smoothly no matter what the environment becomes. Towards that I’m trying to become healthier. I’m trying to make better eating choices, and I’m working out 2 – 4 times a week in general. I’m learning about my body and realizing that it has to be a self-sustaining reality obedient to it’s own rules. This is the nature of balance, and the discipline of the body.