The Holiday Season:
So, it’s December the 25th. Christmas Day, well night now. This season causes some consternation (i love that word) in my world. Being pagan, I really don’t celebrate Christmas. I do celebrate Yule, but the modern trappings of the season are often looked down upon by other pagans. Gift giving doesn’t seem an appropriate act when celebrating the return of the light. ;)
So I have some of my pagan friends, who throughly detest the holiday and everything associated with it. And I have my family, who celebrate secular Christmas, being staunch agnostics. My brother, for instance, says “It’s the time to celebrate family and love, and give gifts to the people that are meaningful to you.” The quote may not be perfect, but that was the gist.
And I’m a little caught in the middle. I don’t like a lot of the trappings of the holiday. I hate that our culture places so much emphasis on it, and I hate what it does to people. No, not cheeriness. I hate how much stress and work and pain goes into Christmas. I know people who don’t want to go home for Christmas for no other reason then the amount of stress involved in it.
On the other hand, I love my families traditions. I love sitting around breakfast and going through stockings, and playing with puzzles and gadgets and watching the joy and surprise on my families faces. I love the opportunity to spend time with them for no other reason than being a family. I love arguing with my brother and teasing my father and laughing at my mothers technological mistakes.
I wonder why the dogma of the season is such a big deal. Why do people, pagan and non-pagan alike, have to get so caught up in the details. The Christians want to celebrate the day as a holy one, great, go to it. If pagans don’t want to celebrate it at all, or want to stick to what they believe to be more traditional Yule celebrations, that’s fine too. But why on earth does everyone get so stuffy and forceful about it? Why do they get offended that other peoples traditions differ? What’s wrong with the fact that my family always has a baked ham for Christmas dinner? What’s the deal?
Theo, I thoroughly agree with your sentiments about the the yuletide season. I don’t mind that people’s traditions differ at all either, and I certainly have met the sort of individuals you describe, pagan or no, who seem to get extra uptight about the trappings of the holiday and sniff disdainfully at those who have any semblance of a ‘traditional’ celebration.
I walk in two worlds myself and am proud of the ability to do so. After childhood (that says everything, eh?) I haven’t known a Christmas that wasn’t somewhat stressful, and yesterday was no different. I enjoyed hanging out with my family and hosting dinner, opening presents, having esoteric conversations with my father — unusual, because he is a scientist — and quizzing my little brother about his new girlfriend. Nevertheless, there’s always a little stress involved — sometimes a lot — because emotions run high around this time. People get whipped up into a froth about expectations and giving and getting and making sure everything, including that ham, is just right. On the one hand, it points to the importance of the holiday, but on the other I think it shows that people are torn between its trappings and the true meaning of the season (whether that is Jesus or the return of the Light, or enjoying family, or whatever).
It doesn’t help that people get uppity about how some choose to celebrate this time of year. In my world the most vocal of these have been the pagans — even pagans of the milquetoast variety come out forcefully opining about the Golden-Calf-worshipping aspects of the holiday. Of course, I’ve never met a pagan who rejected a free holiday dinner or cheerfully wrapped gift!
I dunno — I had a friend who was dreading spending Yule with her Catholic family and mentioned it to others in her order. She loved her family but unfortunately could only think of the stress she felt when she’s with them for the holidays. Her pagan group took that to be enough reason to rather assertively tell her “Who needs family like that anyway?” and not only encouraged her to boycott Christmas but to completely distance herself from her relatives. A bit extreme, no? Sure, I’ve been appalled at the gross materialism of a few during the holidays, but this is a small number of people who are motivated by accumulating objects ALL YEAR ROUND and do not represent the majority of people who enjoy sharing at Christmas and who welcome hugs and laughs with family and friends, despite whatever stress may come with it. For many, this is one of the few times in the year when far-flung family make an effort to be together, so for that reason, it is important to make at least a medium-sized deal out of it!
If we expect others to respect our own traditions we can at the very least give them the respect they deserve. And to be clear, there are very few cradle pagans, so to give respect to traditions most of us already grew up with should not be so hard. In my opinion, the mostly reactionary allergy most pagans exhibit to society’s prevailing Yule celebrations is usually the result of an as yet unripe spiritual path.
I’ve found that the mages and hermetic philosophers I respect most move with grace between different traditions. Pagan or not, this is a beautiful time of year and there are ways to minimize the stress around it — for one, let others have the joy they find the way they find it. If your intention and awareness of the meaning of Yule dwell, however quietly, in your own heart, isn’t that enough?
Merry Yule everyone!
Herbis Orbis said this on December 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Herbis,
I often feel the same way. I too have found that the grace to move between differing traditions with respect and acceptance is a precious gift we should nurture. And too, there are often too many people who, burned by their own families, advocate cutting all ties. Family is important, and there are times when it’s important to cut ties, but all too often people cut ties because it’s the easy thing to do, not because it’s the healthy thing to do.
theo geer said this on December 26th, 2007 at 12:28 pm