autumn twilight

I feel very distant from the world today. For a couple of days actually. I feel disconnected, like the things I’m thinking and feeling are private. And not necessarily things that I’m not willing to share, just things that sharing doesn’t spread. The moon is waning and I’m retreating into myself. I can hardly feel it at all, even though I know it’s only been a few days since she was full.

I want to call in to work, get some time off. I won’t, but I want too. I don’t have anything planned for this weekend, not actual plans that is. I don’t have anything that I have to go do somewhere. That’s good, because I need the time to myself. I’ve been needing it for a while, and I haven’t taken it. Or when I have taken it I’ve used it in the wrong ways. This weekend is a sabbatical for me I think. I’ll fast, and meditate, and write. I’ll sit.

I don’t know what the results of that will be, or even what the goals are, just that I’m feeling the need for it. That’s a rather mild way of putting it. I feel like I’ll die if I don’t take it.